So yesterday was my mom’s 80th birthday. My dad wanted to have a big party for her, but with his passing just a few weeks ago, my mom just couldn’t bring herself to see all of the friends and family that were just at the wake and funeral. So my brother and I opted for a small party with immediate family, and dinner from her favorite Chinese Food restaurant.
I made the cake that my dad had made for her for the past 59 years. It’s a vanilla cake with chopped up walnuts, vanilla frosting and sprinkled generously with coconut. It’s absolutely delicious and it was always the one thing (and only thing, actually) that mom wanted for her birthday.
An hour before the party, my family and I went over mom’s to give her our present and sit and chat for a bit over a glass of wine. My oldest had a hard day at work, and he was missing his grandfather extra hard. Having only been at the job for a few months, he told me that there were things at work he hadn’t yet learned how to do, and tools he hadn’t used before. He used to ask his Papa for advice and he looked forward to learning from him.
“They want me to use a specific drill but I don’t have that one, or the drill bits or anything.” he’d said before we left for my mom’s.
When we got to my mom’s, I asked her if John could go into the basement and spend some time down there. My dad had all of his woodworking supplies, tools, and a lifetime supply of screws and nails down there, and John wanted to just be surrounded by his things.
“I know you miss him.” I said. “But he’s all around. Look for signs, and he’ll guide you.” I hugged him, and watched as he walked down the stairs to the basement.
Within a few minutes, I went down to see him. He was looking around, opening cabinets and seeing all of the pliers, hammers, and various tools that my dad has used over the years. And then something caught his eye. He stopped. Looked at me. And looked up to the ceiling, smiling. He reached towards something, but I hadn’t yet seen it.
“Look at this!” He said.
He held it up. I had no idea what it was, but he did. It was a drill bit case, filled with the drill bits for the drill his boss had asked him to use. And the drill was beside it.
“See? Papa is still guiding you.” I said, and hugged him.
After a while, he came upstairs and we went up to my dad’s office. Mom wanted to show us where she’d hung the picture of him we’d used during the wake. It was the perfect picture of my dad, blown up to a 16 x 20. He was smiling. Always smiling.
My mom walked in first, turned on the light at my dad’s desk, and made a joke about how she was always picking up his things in his office. My dad had a knack for not picking things up, especially if he’d dropped them. It was hard for him to bend, since having double knee surgery, so mom often followed behind him.
We trickled in one by one, and started reminiscing. My mom found a note that Lila had written to him, years back, when he was home with a bad cold. He kept it right next to his lamp.
As we were getting ready to leave the room, there was something on the floor that wasn’t there before. Shawn pointed to it, and laughed. “Cathy, Ed is still making you pick up his things!” It was a sock. A white sock. In the middle of the hardwood floor. Now, if you know my mom, you know she’d never let us walk into a room where clothes were lying strewn about. She was big on picking up crumbs off a table, never mind a stray sock.
Nope, that was my dad, letting us know he was with us. Just as he’d guided John to find his drill, he guided us to the office, to let us know he was here, on my mom’s 80th birthday.
There are signs everywhere. I see that now.
So dad, you keep sending signs, and I’ll keep looking.
According to Dolly 
I hope you are going to compile all of these into a book. ❤️
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