Barbie Envy

I wanted her to wear pink. I even laid out the outfit on her bed. Barbie top, white pleated skirt, pink heart-shaped sunglasses. Pink patent leather shoes. She didn’t want to wear the skirt. Or the top. Or the shoes. The sunglasses were a “we’ll see.” I don’t know why this movie made me feel like it was a narrative on motherhood, or mothers and daughters. Maybe it’s because I watched countless reviews on TikTok, saying the movie brought them to tears, made them rethink their entire existence, and the relationship they had with their mothers. That is a lot of pressure.

So, when the day came for us to attend the movie, I wanted it to be perfect.

She came down the stairs in a pink top, ripped jeans and pink Converse. And yes, the glasses were on top of her head. She looked beautiful. She is beautiful. I wore a pink tank, hot pink zip up sweatshirt, and denim shorts. Ready to have an epiphany. Ready to have a mother-daughter moment that would bond us for life.

We grabbed some snacks & drinks, found our seats and pressed the recline button on those amazing leather seats. We were ready.

The movie started. And then continued. And then ended.

And you know what? There was no epiphany. There was no “ah ha” moment during the movie that caused us to look at each other and cry. And hug. It was a movie.

It was just a movie.

When the credits rolled, my daughter got up to leave. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to hear the song that everyone on TikTok was crying about. “What Was I Made For?” by Billie Eilish. It was a beautiful song, and I’d already downloaded it on my phone. “Let’s stay for the song.” I said. But she got up and headed for the door.

Once we got in the car, and I turned to leave the parking lot, the song started playing. My daughter had downloaded it to her phone. She turned it up. And started singing. And I joined her.

We didn’t say a word. We just sang.

Sometimes “ah ha” moments happen when you least expect them.

You don’t need to plan for them. You don’t need to force it.

They’ll just happen.