I’m not a private person. I’m not a keep-it-to-myself type of gal. I share a lot. I share pictures. Of dinners I’ve made. Of cakes I’ve decorated. Of my kids. Of my husband. I share. On Facebook. A lot. I share stories and talk about my family so much that whether they like it or not, if they are seen in a supermarket, liquor store or at the post office, and they are recognized from my social media accounts, they are going to get a, “HEY! I saw your pic on Facebook!”
Some people like to keep their personal lives private. I am not one of those people.
I’m also a wear my heart on my sleeve type of person. I’ve always needed to talk about it, write about it, or think about it. I’ve always been the type of person who enjoyed sharing personal stories, because over the course of my life, I’ve found that sharing, sometimes gives someone else permission to share their story.
So here I am sharing again. But this time, I’m sharing because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head and on paper, I may lose myself in worry.
I had a mammogram last week. I was asked to come back two days later for further evaluation. The 2nd set of results showed dominant abnormalities and masses…bigger than a centimeter…words like “lymphoma” and “BIRADS 4 – suspicious abnormalities.”
And while I was wrapping up the ultrasound and listening to the radiologist, my head spinning, the assistant was already booking me for another appointment. In two days. 4 biopsies. What? How is this even possible? I go every year for my annual mammogram. I’m always negative. My girls are always perfect. Never a problem.
So how did I go from normal to biopsy? From zero masses to 10 “dominant” masses?
I can’t wrap my head around it.
So I’m writing. I know there’s no point in speculating until the results from the biopsy are in. I know there’s no point in worrying over something that could turn out to be nothing. I get all that. But as hard as I try and as busy am I am keeping myself, my thoughts keep wandering to “what if?”
Truth be told, I’m scared.
So while this could all turn out to be nothing, and I’m praying it is…I’m gonna write about it. I’m gonna share my feelings with you because maybe you’re going through it too. Maybe you will feel better knowing that you are not alone.
And maybe when all is said and done, I’ll share some good news.
But for now…it’s one step at a time.