I woke up at 6:15 a.m. today, crawled out of bed and made my way downstairs and into the kitchen, to make lunches for the kids. (Don’t hate on me for making my kids lunches. It’s the way I was raised. Blame my mother.) It’s not just making the lunches, and the different breads, different lunch meats, different condiments. It’s also packing different snacks, and then one wants water in the bag, one wants it on the side of the backpack. One doesn’t want lunch at all. And as I was making lunch, the dog was nudging me to go out. Letting him out…and walking back into the kitchen. What was I doing? Oh yes, lunches.
And then it was, “Where’s my sweatshirt?” and “I can’t find my shoes.” And getting sidetracked from the dishwasher that I’d just started emptying and the load of wash I knew I had to get out of the drier before it wrinkled.
After the kids were off to school, I was all about focusing on my work. I had invoices to prepare, a spreadsheet to create, and inventory to order. I had bills to pay. Where was my checkbook, anyway? And as I went to look for it, I remembered needing to find my tax folder, because I needed to pay my quarterly’s. As I was rummaging around the floor for the pen I’d dropped, in preparing for signing my checks, I knocked over the waste basket under my desk, knocking over a mound of paper trash. Cleaning that up, I found my pen, and remembered I had been looking for the taxes. Now where did I put those anyway? Distracted.
I’d like to just chalk it up to my age. I mean, after all, I am 53 years old, closing in on 54. But I don’t think that’s it. I think I’m just overwhelmed. As grateful as I am for the life that I live, the family that I have, the business that I own…I am tired. I am not just tired. I am exhausted. Every muscle in my body aches. And it seems as much as I get done in any given day, there are dozens of things waiting for me on the next. Before I go to the boutique, I’ve already got 4 hours of work in.
And I’m so easily distracted. It’s like, there is so much to do, and as I try to get it done, something else comes up and I find myself like a gerbil on a wheel – I keep going and going but don’t seem to get anywhere.
The great thing is? I know I’m not alone. The whole reason I started my blog was to put my life out there – the good, the bad, the hot mess that I am, because I know that I’m not alone in what I’m feeling. I know we all go through the highs and lows. I know that we all get distracted. We all feel overwhelmed. And we all feel exhausted.
I’m pretty happy and motivated most of the time. And when I am, I write about it. I post about it. But sometimes I get down. Sometimes I get overwhelmed. And that’s okay too. It’s part of life. It’s part of growth. We become a better version of ourselves every time we face an obstacle and overcome.
So I’ll keep writing. I’ll keep sharing. And I know that as you read this, you get it. You get me. You understand. And I’m so grateful for that. For you.
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